A Recurring Theme in my life

What I’m going to discuss here is a theme that’s recurring all through my life. I ran into some trouble and I lose my sleep for few days, but at an unexpected situation I talk about it to someone and voila there comes a solution. Much worse, the concerned people who I thought I’m harming doesn’t even take it as a big deal.

Overthinking leads to no where

When I start simulating the impact of some of my actions, I delve into the extremes, a negative extreme. This at times saves me from potentially embarrassing situations. However, many times I indulge in self harm through overthinking.

Thinking for others more than myself

Before asking help from someone I think about whether that is asking too much. My hypothesis is this behavior is remanent of the inferiority complex that I grow up with. Yes, most of my formative years I consider myself inferior to others, or most of others. This has stopped me from asking for help.

Some realization

In work I’m noticing a strange pattern. Some of the coworkers ask for help. Earlier I used to spend my time to help them out. Recently, I started saying no to some of the requests. Reason for this change is unknown. I suspect I have started valuing my time. Even after saying no I don’t feel the guilt that I used to simulate in my brain.

I assume the same applicable to others, if they have time they will help. Otherwise they’re going to say no. Either way asking does take me somewhere.

If at all I take a new year oath/pledge it would be to approach people for help.